Will we make it back to each other?
by Maziikeen94
Summary: A snippet of Garvez inspired by Beyoncé's lemonade.
1. All Night

**AN: I decided to do short snippets of Garvez based on Beyoncé's lemonade album because I do love that album and it was on repeat when I was trying to write something else. These won't be in chronological order and it's slightly AU because Garvez isn't cannon and there's a time jump.**

Chest beating, heart screaming, all I can feel is my love for you living in me.  
Forgiveness has never been for the weak. I stare at you as you sleep and I can say confidently that I love and forgive you, even though it took sometime for the hurt to not seep into my being.  
I can hear your breathing, your muscles relaxed with your broad shoulders- I can't say I'm surprised that she fell for you.  
I fell for you the moment when we met at the elevators 5 years ago.  
The memory plays again and it warms me, but now another memory assaults me- you and her in bed.  
Shaking my head of that memory- rubbing your shoulders, fiddling with your hair waiting to erase that memory that has been burned into my mind.

"Babe, you're still awake?" Luke asked, eyes barely opened. Rubbing my clavicle naturally putting me at ease.

"Yeah, just thinking." I whisper, not looking up to his face.

"Oh. I know what you're thinking, and sorry doesn't cover it, I know that. But I am, and I do want to prove that I love you- truly, I also know that earning your trust is going to take time. I'm willingly to wait and be here for you- In ways I should've been months ago."

"I know that nothing real can be threatened. I've learned that true love could breathe salvation back into me. That with every tear came redemption and my torturer became my remedy." I say as I look into his deep brown eyes. I mean every word, I just want to love him. Be with him, allow him to see the hurt and lick the wounds with me. I bring my hands up to his face and kiss him fiercely, madly, truly.

I whisper, "How I miss you my love."

As we proceed to roll around and consume each other.


	2. Sandcastles

**AN: another snippet. Song belongs to Beyoncé and I don't own criminal minds.**

 _We build sand castles that washed away I made you cry when I walked away_

I'm not even bothered with the broken dishes around the kitchen that had been thrown towards the living room.

I always believed that I wasn't a violent person. I don't believe in an eye for an eye, the death penalty was hard to swallow a few years back, but there's something about seeing the man you've loved for so long sharing a bed that was meant to be shared with only you.

You see his expression of pleasure and loving being exchanged with someone else. You stare shocked for a moment, not breathing- not entirely comprehending what's going on. Then you hear him moan her name and you snap out of it yelling what the actual fuck.

You run to the kitchen, he follows with a pillow barely covering himself, and you can't help the anger bubbling in your chest. Your hands raise up to hit him he blocks you, so you grab the only thing that's close enough- porcelain beauties that were gifts from your wedding.

You see her come out fully clothed, matte hair and bruised lips. She speaks so meekly an apology. You look at her with pity- yes pity because she felt the need to be with someone halfway. Then I think so did I, I simply didn't know that.

We are all silent for a moment, he is staring at me when sad eyes and shame radiating from him, while she is switching from shame to me and longing to him. I grabbed the picture I had in my home with the three of us and threw it to her, pointing to the door. She takes it with tears and looks to Luke, I can see she's hoping he'd say something but all he does is tilt his head to the door. Her tears are flowing freely now, at the realization of what it meant to love a man you only had halfway.

It was then, that I realized, we both shared that pain. I couldn't speak, neither could he, I decided to leave- with a mess the way he left my heart. He ran towards me trying to grasp on to a shred of hope but I couldn't because not every promise works out that way. Tears brimming to the surface, he lets me go, and I run.


	3. Pray You Catch Me

**AN: I don't own criminal minds or these characters nor do I own Beyoncé's song.**

Dinner. Here with you at dinner, having some exciting news but why do I feel like you're preoccupied. We're sitting across from each other and yet it feels we are miles apart. I'm nervous to tell you, maybe because for the first time, I feel like this news won't be as joyful. You are constantly checking your phone, fingers eagerly playing over the screen. Even your kiss taste different- your smile isn't as bright as we chat.

You ask why I chose this restaurant, it was just a regular Tuesday. That's when I realize that you don't remember, and it hurts but I'm not surprised. So I chuckle an excuse about wanting to dress up for no reason with work and stuff, and for a profiler you buy that lame excuse. I go to the restroom, looking in the mirror- with my blonde curls framing my face, I look at my smaller physique not understanding how was it that I lost weight when I'm suppose to gain. As I'm on the way back to our table, I see the face I remember from long ago- smiling, laughing, whispering. As much as I wish I could hear your whispers more clearly, I pray that you'd catch me listening- that you look up from your phone call see me and come clean about what has you smiling again or who.

You hang up and smile more then you notice I'm coming back and your face goes back to being neutral, an act of coolness. It hits me, not the same as before but as a call for concern and I decide maybe it's time we leave, separately, so again, I lie about being called in for consult. You jump at that and say we should do this again, as if this was a meeting with a coworker and not dinner with your wife. You leave some bills at the table and say you'll see me later.

I swallow my tears because you're gone before I've had a chance to put my coat on. I go to the bar, and sit there thinking. Wondering 'what are you doing my love?'

My thoughts are off in a deep cesspool of memories.

Memories of when we met, our first date, our first argument, our wedding. The most painful ones, when I had my miscarriages and that was the beginning of maybe the end. Maybe this was our end, even though I couldn't accept that, more like didn't want that. I've been lying to myself for too long about what was going on, I needed to find out what happen with us. What was going on with him, us- this marriage that no longer felt like one. I look at my watch, it's be about half hour, I think it's best to go home now.


	4. Hold Up

**AN: I don't own criminal minds or these characters nor do I own Beyoncé's song.**

Sitting across the table seeing you and her hold hands. I think back to when this must have started, because it's been a year and some change since I noticed the difference in your behavior. The haze of motions that you went through with me but the life that pulsed through you and reached your eyes when she was present.

I'm brought back to the present when you speak up. We lock eyes and you say that you never wanted to hurt me and I can't help but snicker. I look back at her and she shrinks back unable to make eye contact. She goes to speak but I interrupt her, no longer I am able to contain this hurt or anger at this betrayal.

"You know, when I noticed something, i tried to be better-prettier. I even spoke to her about this very fear. I told her how making love with you felt like- as a task and as if your mind and heart was somewhere else."

He looks next to him at her, confused. Readily willing to defend her- I assume but I continue- he's had enough time to speak and do what he please, I think to myself.

"I'm not finished. I tried to change. I wanted to be softer for you, not speak as much. I saw the benefit of being better towards myself but you noticed nothing. I couldn't fathom that you'd do this. I needed to know if you were cheating. Which is why I lied when we went to dinner and I prettied myself to tell you what I thought would be good news on our anniversary and you didn't even remember or care to remember. Who knows now. I thought you knew that I loved you fully. I wondered, they wouldn't love you like I do. I wondered why would you willingly go to another when I've been with you for the worse days of our lives. I never thought you'd treat me so wickedly. Every time you left for work and stayed out late I kept telling myself what's worse looking jealous or crazy? I wanted to sleuth my way through all things connected to you but I fought that urge to not seem neither. I repeated to myself daily that you would never do that after everything that we wouldn't be torn apart because of something as foolish as adultery. I repeated that even as day after day you smelt of different perfumes that never adorn my body or possessions. I'm done. I love you Luke, I truly do. I'm not perfect but I don't deserve to feel this worthless."

He doesn't react, simply stares glossy eyed and for a split second I think I see pain but I ignore it. He goes on to say that he doesn't want that but he will respect my decision. He continues to tell me she is pregnant and that they aren't going to be together because he loves me but he does want to be there for his child.

I look at her and I can see she wants more, she wants the Luke I use to know. I can see the longing and the facade of being okay with simply being the women who gave birth to his child and not his wife. I can't help but feel pity for her. Maybe because I was there. I wanted Luke to be with me and for that to be enough but clearly it wasn't. I get up and feel she should know the truth maybe it could save her or maybe I just wanted her to feel this betrayal in a way the burned her soul and seeped into her pores.

"Congrats, I guess. I don't care, but Tammy and Rebecca keep calling for you. Apparently, they thought I was your sister and they told me about the romantic weekend you had planned with them on alternating weekends." He looks embarrassed and ashamed. I look back at her and her tears are on the brink of pouring out, she has the same look I imagine I had when I found them.

"I just thought you should know- you weren't the only one." I said to her as I grabbed my things and left that coffee shop.

I get back to my place and I can't stop screaming. The pain is dragging me into a deep dark hole of emotions. He's gonna have a baby with her. They are going to be connected forever. I keep wondering who up there has it in for me that this would happen- one of my husbands lovers gets pregnant but we loss 2 babies before... I can't even finished the thought. I remind myself, that child isn't to blame for anything.

I spend hours, before I finally give in to exhaustion, replaying everything and mourning it properly before I do what I do best- which is move on.


	5. Sorry

**AN: I don't own criminal minds or these characters nor do I own Beyoncé's song.**

I haven't smile this much in so long, I don't even remember when was the last time. The music just sends me to a different place, It helps that my dancing partner is a handsome blonde. It's amazing what happiness does to you and how that affects people around you, I'm at my simplest- jeans and a tee shirt. Even so, I haven't felt as confident as I do now. As the song finishes I make my way back to the table where my friends are enjoying I'm approaching them, I see their worried faces and my eyebrows crinkle with curiosity.

"Hey, what's wrong guys?" I ask, they simply stare to far the side- that's when I see him. Standing there was the man who broke my heart- Luke was just contently staring in our direction. I go to continue, "Don't let him ruin our fun. Come on guys, he can do as he please this is a fun place." I finish, as I'm getting ready to go dance again. They are quick to join me, not saying anything.

I'm dancing with the same handsome partner from before and I can feel eyes on me. Then before I know it I feel a hand grab me and mumble an excuse me. Then in a whirlwind I'm at the side of the platform, with Luke in front of me. He looks tired, and if I cared to pay more attention- he also looked like alcohol was his new best friend but I just ignore his present state and look at him as if he'd grown another head.

"Why haven't you been answering my calls?" He finally speaks out, fidgeting with his fingers.

"Hm...maybe because we have nothing to discuss. I haven't receive the signed divorce papers, so I guess we are both disappointed with the others response." I shrugged at that and was about to turn and leave.

"Wait, Penelope I haven't signed because I love you. I know I made some mistakes- horrible ones but I want us to work this out. I can't be without you. We were meant to be, and I know I let the pain of losing our babies dictate my actions instead of confiding in you. I'm sorry I wasn't a better man- better husband." He takes my hand and he says everything I wanted to hear months ago but now the sweet words leave a bitter after tastes as I remind myself that it's too late.

"Look, I wish I could say that I'm sorry that this realization came to you a bit late, but I'm not. I'm doing better now, you reminded me that I don't have to take this hurt. I don't have to lay awake at night wondering where you are, looking at the time and as it goes by my self-worth plummets. I don't have to constantly regret when I put the ring that bonded us forever on. I'm not sorry that I'm not relying on your love to feel whole. Now, I'm gonna go back out there and I'm gonna dance because it's been a hell of long time since I've felt this elated and free. Goodbye, Luke." I turn and I hear him scream behind me that he isn't gonna stop trying to win me over, I simply laugh and scream back to call his baby mama because it's late.


	6. Sorry Pt II

**AN: I don't own criminal minds or these characters nor do I own Beyoncé's song. I decided to do a part 2 to this song because I wanted to reveal an important aspect and since these are snippets I didn't want to make it too long. Hope you enjoy.**

Walking into my home, looking around and not seeing a trace of Luke, affirms my reasoning why we have to end this. I don't think I'll ever stop loving him but I feel like I wouldn't be able to trust him.

After stripping down to only a long tee for bed, I go into the room that matters the most.

I see the softness of textures and the mix of rose and yellow colored furniture, smiling. I see the pictures I put up, this room has been my secret for a long time. I haven't even told JJ, or Reid. I think I'm just enjoying it for myself a little longer before I can't hide it anymore. I honestly can't believe no ones noticed.

Thinking back to the night of our anniversary, feeling that this news could maybe change things for the better between us. Then I noticed his behavior I need to find out if my suspicions were correct, and damn they were. I can't but chuckle now, at the damn irony. When I met him at the coffee shop I was still determined to tell him, but then I saw them holding hands and she's pregnant. I know when I lost, that's when I knew I had to move on; just as he did.

I knew that I needed to get him to sign the divorce papers, I didn't want a marriage out of guilt. Then I'd tell him and we could go from there, but that plan only works if he isn't so damn stubborn. Sooner or later he'll notice and I know a small part of him will feel obligated to stay- I don't want that.

I make my way to the mirror lost in my own thoughts, as I lift my shirt and look at my barely noticeable belly. Running my hands over it, I just want to protect it- from pain, rejection, in general- hurt. I'm not naive I know I won't be able to all the time but for a little time while he/she is apart of my body I can. I still can't believe the amount of weight I've lost for being a little over 5 months but the doctor says it's normal since I've started a new diet and exercise regimen. My little bean is at a normal size and everything is going smoothly. Just knowing that I've made it to this point has given me hope. It also has given me a new perspective of my current situation, that it happened and I can't dwell on the past and as painful as it is I've forgiven Luke, I'm thankful for my child that he also played a part in but I don't need him.


	7. Don't Hurt Yourself

AN: I don't own Beyoncé songs or cm characters. The solange and jay z altercation was inspo.

Breathe in and out, in and out.

Waiting in the elevator with Luke and her so close makes me kind of sick, she's definitely further in her pregnancy than I am because she's showing.  
I can feel him stare,  
Emily is staring at us and she looks at them, and back at me then it hits her that this was the women that broke my heart with the man I thought who'd never betray me. I hear Emily mumble something under her breath, I'm too focused on breathing to listen.  
I just see arms flying, and Emily's curses. She punches Luke and luckily Matt is also here because he grabs Emily to contain her.

Finally, the doors open and I walk out, not looking back I just want to get out of here.

Matt is still dragging Emily away, and Emily is shouting at Luke, while he grabs his girlfriend and walks away.

I'm at home, trying to just relax. I'm not stressing over anything. Not when I have something precious that is in the making. I'm in the baby room humming lullabies, when I hear the doorbell, I go downstairs and put a robe on because I may not be showing that much but when I'm not wearing office clothes it's noticeable right now no one knows.

I open the door, and see Emily holding a bottle of wine and snacks.

"I thought let's have a girls night?" She said with a half smile.

"Sure, my sweet." I responded, allowing her in.

"How's your hand love? honestly, that wasn't necessary." I mention while I get her a glass and get some juice for myself.

"Necessary? Maybe not, but you're one of my best friends, if you thought I wouldn't do something similar to this once I found out who she was, you don't know me well. I saw that's she pregnant which is why I didn't try to beat her ass as well. It's sick that he cheated to begin with but with her? Knowing her history with Derek and everything. That's cold."

"Honey, what does Derek have to do with this?" As I take a seat next to her.

"I mean they dated, for a short period, we all know you had feelings for him around the same time."

"Oh hun, maybe but I wasn't in love with Morgan, that was just a nice fantasy. I thought her and Morgan were cute together, she kept him on his toes. I was surprised that they didn't last. Anyway, All I want is the divorce, which is proving difficult, he doesn't want to sign them."

"Of course he doesn't, you did see him? He doesn't look good probably because he's realizing he made a mistake and wants to come back to you. Wait, why aren't you drinking with me? We are suppose to be wallowing together. You and Luke were symbols of hope for all of us now that imagine is tainted. Let's mourn properly!"

"I'm done wallowing. I'll always love Luke but I'm not going feel bad about something I didn't do. I also was hurting and trying everything I could think of to get us back on track while he was out there cheating. I'm done, wash my hands of that."

"You really are an amazing Oracle. Still doesn't explain the no wine, I brought your favorite- cheap and strong."

Giggling I grab her hand and take her upstairs, "let me show you something."

We get to the room no one has seen and I think I'm ready for people to know.

"Uhh Pen, whats going on? Like your gorgeous but you are technically still married." Emily says nervously.

"I just want to show you this, but we will revisit the gorgeous statement later.." I say as I open the nursery door while giggling.

Emily's eyes widen and her mouth opens.


End file.
